Maternity mindf*ck
What’s Ironic: This weekend, I bought a pair of GAP maternity jeans called “Long and Lean.” My entire life, I have been neither long nor lean, nor have I been able to fit my, uh, “athletic” frame into anything described as such. Apparently, though, now I am long and lean.
What’s Not F*cking Funny At All: These so-called “Long and Lean” jeans are two sizes up from my usual size. (What about that, exactly, signifies “long and lean”?) Oh, and I had to buy a new pair of maternity jeans because, just halfway through my pregnancy, I have already outgrown my first pair, in all relevant areas but the belly. My rear end is currently as rotund as my baby belly and is growing at the same alarming rate. I think this kid is growing spare parts in my ass.
Sorry about all the not-so-matronly swearing today. Cautionary whale’s prerogative.
Not to be a wet rag on your already yucky day, but it seems that when one is cooking a girl, one’s ass grows exponentially. I know this because mind did when Caroline was in utero. I have never had a booty. Ever. Then she planted herself firmly in my uterus and told my butt to expand. It’s a necessary evil for the bundle of joy though! Isn’t procreation AWESOME?!?! blurg.
Best tags evar.
I use to say that baby H was storing his luggage in by butt! I completely understand how you feel:)
Randomly, Gap’s long and lean jeans actually fit me the best in general. Which is weird considering I am also no parts long and lean. Their curvy jeans, however, are not made for women with curves. Like at all.