Imagine there’s no heaven
Do you believe in heaven? What about God? And, more importantly, why?
We are putting down our family dog, Annie, today.
We’ve had her since I was in eighth grade. I’m doing OK, because I haven’t lived at home in eight years, really, and I said goodbye to her a long time ago. And, I’m not going home to see her today, because I just don’t think I have the emotional energy for it.
But Annie is my sister’s best friend, and I’m having a really hard time consoling her. She is just beside herself over it.
My instinct, of course, is to tell her that Annie is going to heaven. She’ll have her young body back and can chase squirrels all day, and sit by my grandma’s feet and be petted for hours and hours.
But I don’t think I believe in God, or heaven, anymore. I really, really want to, but it just doesn’t seem rational. I guess I’m hoping I can be convinced.
If you don’t believe in heaven, then how do you make your peace with a loved one’s passing? How can I not be freaked out every day about the potentiality of losing someone I love, if I’m not certain at all that they are going on to a “better place”?
If you do believe in heaven, why? And if you aren’t sure, why do you choose to believe what you believe? What can I tell my sister that will comfort her?
Goodbye, little Annie dog ….
I’ve never leaned that heavily on the concept of heaven, so perhaps I’m not a good commenter.
For as long as I can remember (not that long, actually), death has just seemed like the inevitable endpoint of life. Chance and the universe bless us all with a brief opportunity to make our mark on the world and those around us. When it ends, we can no longer actively affect anything, but we remain relevant by those we’ve influenced. So, anybody who is leaving on good terms and has brought joy to others gets to leave with a positive score card.
Once you die, you feel no pain or unhappiness. You no longer exist. The only ones who suffer are those who loved and depended on you. They will and should mourn your passing, but they need to keep what good you left them and move on.
The whole point of death is to give other things/people the opportunity to take the space and resources that you previously made use of and to move forward, hopefully informed by your experience. It is a scary change, but a necessary one. We all get our chance, and once it is over, someone else gets theirs.
Also, the whole “better place” idea is double-sided. By some theologies, they could also go to a worse place. And, if a good person who dies indeed goes to a better place, are we not being selfish by not killing our loved ones?
When I die, I don’t want people to pretend that I’m still living somewhere else that they can’t contact so that they can feel better. I want people to say, “He will be missed, but he had a good run, and we’re all richer for having known him. Now, let’s throw a party, talk about the good times, and let the tears of laughter leave no room for tears of sorrow. We’ll honor him by remembering him fondly but moving on quickly. It’s what he wanted.”
Or, “Good riddance. Let’s get a beer.” Either way; I won’t care anymore.
Mmm, beer.