Everything should taste like bacon
I am hereby outing myself as a half-assed vegetarian. That’s right. No meat for me.
I mean, the more I think about it, the more it grosses me out. And then I saw PETA’s “Meet Your Meat” video, as narrated by Alec Baldwin (who I can’t take seriously in this video because I keep correlating his voice with his character on 30 Rock, and that’s just funny). This video is violent and disgusting and disturbing in so many ways, not the least of which is how the cows and pigs trudging pitifully to slaughter look EXACTLY like Molly.
However. I love bacon. I love everything about it – the aroma, the flavor, the texture – except that it comes from a poor little piggy that was born to die and lived its life confined to a tiny, filthy pen. And did you know that a pig is smarter than the average 3-year old? Or that they can experience complex emotions?
And even the free-range ones that frolic in clover until its time to be humanely killed and sent off to Whole Foods, well, they still look like Molly, so that’s out, too.
So after much thought, I have decided to become an ovo-lacto-pesco-baco-tarian. That would be a vegetarian who eats eggs, dairy, fish, and bacon. Though, to be perfectly honest with you, the eggs are going to go soon, because you know my feelings on birds, as well as the fish, because they gross me out too. Dairy, on the other hand, I have decided is OK, so long as it comes from happy cows. Because I truly could never part with ice cream.
Anyway! I did have a point, and my point is BACON SALT.
That’s right. Bacon Salt. Just when you thought salt couldn’t get any better, along comes the bacon fairy, sprinkling applewood smoked goodness all over the land.
And get this: it’s vegetarian, kosher, and noncaloric.
The geniuses behind this product are two self-described “Bacontrepreneurs” who came up with the concept while discussing their mutual love of bacon. And indeed, the Bacon Salt motto is “Everything should taste like bacon.”
As one testimonial on their website puts it, “Why would you have fries when you can have bacon fries?” EXACTLY. This stuff can go on everything. The Bacon Salt blog even has a recipe for a bacon-flavored martini! And they now have a “natural” version that is gluten-free and low-sodium, though I can’t imagine how “natural” it could possibly be. I mean, no meat, no sodium, no gluten, no calories = no good. Unless of course you put some chemicals in there. Yum-o.
Did your day just get a little brighter? Cause MINE SURE DID!
