Never light a cigarette at a gas station, lest you should ignite the few drops of gasoline that have spilled en route from tank to pump, or the gallons that have choked unstoppably forth from the nozzle when some yuppie idiot girl on her iPhone pulls it from her car before it’s done pumping and [...]
I’ve had a bit going on lately, so I’ll have to keep this fairly concise.
My sister has entered her dog, Rosie, in the Dog-a-holics‘ Treat of the Month contest using a photo I snapped of her in Nashville.
If Rosie wins, her picture will be on a box of dog treats (and she will get free treats, [...]
Dear President-elect Barack Obama,
I could not be more thrilled by your victory. Our victory. Just knowing that a biracial man — a man raised by a single mother from Kansas and her parents, a man with the middle name “Hussein,” a man who comes from lesser means than I — can actually become president is [...]
I made the mistake today of going out into the real world wearing yoga clothes.
Being that I work from home, I tend to forget that the vast majority of the population does not live their lives wearing Lycra pants and a hoodie. After all, I only emerge from my house to go across the street [...]
It is not a good idea to move one month before you get married.
It is not a good idea to forget that you don’t own a swimsuit until exactly one week before you leave for your wedding in Hawaii.
It is a good idea to start using Crest White Strips seven days before your wedding. I’m [...]
