Back on the scale
That’s it. Molly and I are on a diet.
Back in Nashville, when a friend started calling Molly a hippo, I didn’t think anything of it. When we went on our honeymoon and the dog sitter reported to us that she had started feeding Molly a scant cup of dog food — rather than a heaping cup, as I instructed her — I shrugged it off.
And when the woman down the block started telling Molly how nice and plump she is these days, I just added it to the list of all the unsolicited, judgmental “advice” she gives me. I mean, this is the woman who, when we run into her and her dog on the street, feels welcome trying to teach Molly commands (it never works) and who has no qualms about hunkering down next to Molly and saying, “Now be sure to tell Mommy that you would like to start going to doggie obedience school, OK?” And then she goes along on her merry way, perfect golden retriever prancing alongside her. Like that’s a hard breed to train.
But now, it seems that everyone we meet on our walks has a comment about Molly’s weight: What are you feeding her? Because you know you shouldn’t give them as much as it says on the dog food label and My, my, looks like someone gets a lot of treats at home! and Whoa, she’s huge! I’ve never seen such a big Wheaten!
And then there’s my personal favorite, the direct hit: Wow, she’s really getting fat!
Um, excuse me? Since when is it OK to say something like that? I wouldn’t dream of telling you that your kid is looking fat these days. My my, little Bobby’s really going at those desserts. Looks like he’ll be in the husky sizes in no time!
And I can’t help but take it personally. I mean, I feed Molly exactly what it says on the label of her ultra-premium expensive dog food. She gets one dental hygiene bone a day, and almost no treats. And she never gets table scraps. Ever.
So, what is it? Lack of exercise? I exercise her at least 30 minutes every day … well, every other day … when it’s not raining … or too hot … she hates the heat …
Crap. I haven’t been exercising her that much. Come to think of it, I could use some extra exercise these days. With no wedding to worry about, I’ve been packing on some extra poundage myself …
Am I fat, too? Am I a bad dog mom?
And so, we are in it together, Molly and me. Scant cups of dog food for her, and I’m going to stop having frozen yogurt for lunch. Hour-long walks every day, rain or shine.
Yesterday, I took her for a long early-morning jaunt. I quite literally had to drag her home. And this morning, she refused to get out of her crate. She saw that I had my gym shoes on.
And as for the dieting? Molly is NOT AMUSED.
I am laughing out loud and I haven’t even seen the video yet….
Dear GOD those moans! It cracks me up how she has a conversation with you.
By the way, I just saw Molly, and she is not chubby in the least. She is beautiful!
Our dogs NEED to meet. Annie thinks she can talk too. The more pathetic part is that I’m pretty sure I can understand her.
First of all, tell your neighbor to STFU! And Molls is not fat or chubby. She is fabulous. And curves are in.
Molly doesn’t look fat. She’s perfect. Some neighbours are shits – ignore them.
Hi
Just checked Molly on the video. She is definitely not overweight, looks perfectly normal to me and we have had 3 SCWT. I am just starting a SCWT blog for the dogs in Burlington, Ontario. More Molly videos, love that doggy talk.
Cheers
Oh Mandy,
After eating half of the angel food cake I made last night for dessert for breakfast and having my dinner guests comment on what a large cat Shmuley is this post made me feel like a normal human being!